Tuesday Tools & Tricks #9: The Only Blender You Should Ever Buy (AKA, The Vitamix!)

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Why hello there, readers!

Have you all recovered from your Memorial Day shenanigans?

Well, shape up! We’re here, you’re here, it’s time to get serious.

Today’s Tools & Tricks focuses on one of our Most Favorite Things: The Vitamix.

Because if you want a blender, if you need a blender, this is the only blender to blend with.

Now, we are sure that we are not the only ones out there who, at a certain time in our collective lives, purchased a $20 blender from the grocery store or Bed, Bath & Beyond because we wanted the ability to make frozen margaritas. Just try and deny it, we dare you.

And we are also sure that we are not the only ones who realized upon first use of said blender that this blender was about as useful for blending as it was for painting the walls of your home.

Sit down and prepare yourself for one of the many harsh realities of the world: in the appliance game, you really do get what you pay for.

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And yes, you damn well will pay for a Vitamix–but that mofo will last you for life. And, it can probably blend pennies into a drinkable liquid.

It. Is. Magic.

The Vitamix looks simple and unassuming on the outside, but holy hell does it pack a major punch. The motor on these things is more powerful than any blender you could ever hope to compare it to, and when you are making frozen cocktails, smoothies, gaspacho, guacamole, or anything else that requires blending, this is the friend you want in your corner.


Most low-cost blenders will not fully integrate all of your ingredients, will leave large un-blended chunks behind, or will leave you with a watery mess of a drink (alcoholic or not), but not with the Vitamix. Everything you put in there gets perfectly combined, no matter what.

Vitamix has several different blender varieties, but the most common are very straight forward: there is a 1-10 intensity nob in the center, a high/variable switch on the left, and an on/off switch on the right. That’s it. Seems a little too simple, right? Wrong. All those other blenders with a thousand different settings? Total BS. Do you want something totally emulsified? The Vitamix has you covered. Do you want a roughly blended smoothie? Done in a snap with a Vitamix.

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Honestly, this baby is the holy grail of all kitchen appliances. And if you, like us, enjoy a Piña Colada or frozen Margarita every once and a while, well then you better start putting money in a Vitamix Fund shoebox right now.

Here is the tricky part with these heavenly pieces of equipment: they are not cheap. Like, really, very, seriously not cheap. Like, will run you about $500-600 not cheap.

Yeah. We know. Ouch.

But truly, this is an investment that is going to pay off for years to come. The Vitamix comes with an excellent warranty, and it will continue functioning like the top notch piece of machinery that it is for years and years and years. Far, far longer than any other bargain blender you are going to pick up at Target.

So do yourself a favor and start saving now, and put it on your holiday wish list. As always, we guarantee that you will not be disappointed.

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Until tomorrow!


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